Verse and Dimensions Wikia
Verse and Dimensions Wikia

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I’m about to propose the dumbest idea for a story anyone has ever had: what ιf The Supergod Council played Uno? …Yep, that sounded about as dumb as I expected.

Here, I know how to completely remove every iota of stupidity from this idea: what if several Supergod Councils played Uno? It’s perfect!

Part 1: The Incompetent Council[]

Location: Transcendentem-Tb, not long after the Collapse.

“Not that it’s any bigger a waste of the time we don’t have than anything else this Council does, but what justification exactly did you possibly come up with for calling us all here for a ‘game night’?” Unthil questioned to the Council’s leader. “Maybe it slipped the mind of some of our observationally challenged members, but we don’t even have regular nights.”

“Nothing increases long-term productivity like having some fun now and then!” The Council’s leader, Empiroxus, explained. “You’ll thank me later!”

All nine members of the Supergod Council gathered around a flat logical surface. Last to the table, a purple Supergod guided two restrained beings into the circle as well. “It’s also important to give our probationers rewards to encourage good behavior.” Abstractil added. “Peralitus’s record has been spotless as of late, and if we enjoy these events, it might encourage a certain someone else to try a bit harder.” Abstractil placed every bit of emphasis possible into the end of her sentence while staring at Xenixel. Xenixel grumbled at nothing in particular.

“And what, pray tell, game, prey tell, am I to be obliterating my inferior subjects in on this occasion, pre-tell?” Realitus asked, not waiting for an answer.

“We’re playing Uno!” Empiroxus declared excitedly. “It’s a mortal game that I’ve adapted for Supergods. Trust me, it’s always fun!”

“Excellent choice, great leader!” Peralitus cheered as Abstractil removed the restraints placed on him. “You always know the best games for us to play!” Empiroxus scowled at the green Supergod. “You start the game by each drawing seven cards.”

Each Supergod drew seven cards, except Matharin who sneakily drew six when she knew nobody was looking. Imaginatim drew seven cards, and they were all very pretty. She also picked up seven from the deck so she could play.

“Each of us takes turn placing a card on the pile in the center.” Empiroxus explained. “You can only play cards with the, uh, the same number or color as the last card, uh, played… The goal is to… …are you having fun, Realitus? Empiroxus’s explanation was derailed by noticing Realitus ‘sneakily’ filling his hand with as many cards as possible while he thought no one was looking, mischievously giggling to himself the entire time. “…As I was saying, the goal is to have as few cards as possible.” Empiroxus annunciated for the green Supergod’s benefit. Realitus suddenly stopped, looked mildly embarrassed, and immediately collected himself. “Well, this just means I have more options now! Yeah! Losers!

“And you’re allowing such a brazen violation of the seven-card rule?!?” Xenixel questioned. “What kind of leader do you think you are??” Empiroxus rolled his eyes. “Well, it doesn’t exactly give him an advantage, so I say let him ruin his own hand if he really wants to.” The cyan Supergod explained. Yeah, don’t you dare question our great leader, you orange heathen!” Peralitus chanted while glancing excitedly at Empiroxus every half-metamoment.

Xenixel figured if that wasn’t a problem, surely she was, gesturing to Imaginatim gleefully eating the cards in her hand one-by-one. “Oh, yeah you got me there, that’s illegal.” Empiroxus admitted. Conceptilum immediately demanded Imaginatim spit the cards out, but didn’t quite get the chance to say ‘cards are not food!’ before Peralitus aggressively tackled the young child. “YOU’RE UNDER ARREST FOR ILLEGAL CARD-EATING!!”

Empiroxus grabbed Peralitus by the scruff of the neck as though he were a misbehaving Spudchip and turned to Abstractil with pained exhaustion. “Do we have to play with him?” He pleaded. Abstractil held firm, and a devastated Empiroxus reluctantly put the delinquent down, though not in the manner he wanted to. Conceptilum reminded Imaginatim to replace the cards she’d eaten, and the yellow Supergod gleefully spat out the chewed cards back into her hand. (bleh!)

“Well… I guess that’s technically fine.” Empiroxus figured. Imaginatim stared excitedly at the single glowing rainbow blob she now held.

“The game ends when someone has no cards remaining, if you can’t play you have to draw… oh what the heck, we don’t need all these rules to have fun! Empiroxus figured, tossing the rules behind him. “If any of them come up, I’ll explain them as needed. We’ll just start now!”

“Are the rules clear on how hard I can punch someone if they play one of those ‘Plus Four’ things on me-”

Starting now! Empiroxus insisted.


The first card materialized in the center; a Yellow Nine. Abstractil played first, gesturing to Unthil whose turn was next, but Unthil had already played a card before Abstractil even turned to him. Next up, Xenixel paused, glanced warily towards Empiroxus, and played a Green Five. Empiroxus confidently shuffled through his hand, before his grin faded as he was forced to look through them a second time. He slowly stopped and glanced at Xenixel with suspicion. “…And that just so happened to be the only card you could’ve played, was it?” Empiroxus questioned.

Xenixel looked offended at the implication. “You dare question the integrity of the Council’s former leader?!” Empiroxus eyed Xenixel’s restraints up and down, unamused. “Well,” the Council’s current leader supposed as he drew two cards, “I guess this means I have more options now.” Empiroxus grinned smugly at Xenixel. Peralitus clapped enthusiastically at his leader’s retort.

Uncertain of what to play, Conceptilum hesitated enough that Matharin, sitting next to him, leaned in and whispered, “You should go with the third one from the right.”

“Okay,” Empiroxus said, throwing his arms up in irritation. “Why don’t we all just show everyone our cards if people are going to spy anyway?!”

“As you command, great leader!” Peralitus yelled as he excitedly slammed his hand onto the table for everyone to see, a hand stacked with no less than three ‘Plus Two’ cards. Empiroxus quickly snatched the cards off the table before Imaginatim could eat them. “Another genius move from the moron who almost got everyone killed! Well done!” Empiroxus remarked bitterly as he handed Peralitus his cards. “Maybe you could join Unthil on the other side of the table and learn all about the magical world of sarcasm! Unthil shot Empiroxus a petrified death stare that could freeze Omniverses.

Snapped back to reality uncomfortably early, Conceptilum quickly placed the card Matharin had recommended. Matharin laughed gleefully to herself as she finally got the opportunity to use the weapons this game had granted her, and against Peralitus of all people! “HA!!” Matharin shouted as she slammed a ‘Plus Two’ onto the growing card pile. A red hologram lit up above Peralitus, reading: “PLUS TWO!”. Peralitus groaned as Matharin laughed enough to make up for the silence from everyone else around the table.

“Well, I suppose there’s nothing to be done.” Peralitus sighed in resignation as he reached to draw two cards. Empiroxus sat back and said nothing. Abstractil, confused, caught her partner’s attention and gestured towards Peralitus. Empiroxus looked straight at Abstractil and stayed silent. Abstractil made a ‘coughing’ sound that was definitely audible over Matharin’s laughter. Empiroxus noticed, and in full awareness that Supergods don’t have lungs, continued to say nothing. Fed up as she saw Peralitus actually draw two cards, Abstractil finally spoke in an unnaturally loud tone. “Unless you happen to have a ‘Plus Two’ of your own to play, of course!”

AHAHAHAHA-huh?” Matharin’s laughter stopped abruptly as she turned to Empiroxus with fear in her eyes. Empiroxus acted as though he had been briefly rendered insentient for the past few moments. “Oh, right, yes... you can stack ‘Plus Two’ cards on top of one another, to make the next person draw even more, I guess.” Abstractil did not stop glaring at him.

A figurative lightbulb turned on above Peralitus as he played one of his several ‘Plus Two’s. Matharin shouted “WAIT-” as the hologram shifted to Logixel. “PLUS FOUR!” It now read.

Matharin immediately began panickily bartering for a solution from Empiroxus as Logixel looked through his hand. Can I draw four cards instead of him?? It’s my fault in the first place, it should be me who has to draw! There should be some kind of ‘deflect’ card that sends it back to whoever attacked you, not passing it along! Logixel didn’t even do anything!! Matharin begged. Empiroxus wasn’t exactly sure how to get out the words ‘It’s just an Uno game’, so instead he settled on informing Matharin that if Logixel has a Plus Two of his own, he can keep passing it on.

Logixel glanced at the Plus Two in his hand, then at Realitus’s 55 cards. Feeling his younger brother already had a big enough disadvantage, Logixel chose not to play. “I- uh, don’t- don’t have any cards to play, I don’t think.” Logixel drew four cards.

For a moment, Realitus looked genuinely touched at the gesture. “Thank you very much for your noble sacrifice, brother. If all Supergods were as kind as yourself, or perhaps even I, then Transcendentem would be a better place.” Realitus smiled and immediately ‘Plus Four’ed Paradoxus.

“WHAT THE F@”£%^%&^&%$w^&%$£%^&%$w£%^&^?!?!?!!?!?!?”

Conceptilum had to stabilize the table, lest Paradoxus smash it immediately. He and Matharin had to rush over and restrain him from attacking Realitus, desperately trying to calm him down by reminding him that it was only a game. “OH sure it’s “““JuSt A gAmE”””, THIS obnoxious little BRAT treats everyone like this EVERY DAY, but NOW it’s “JUST A GAME”, so NOW it’s FINE!!! WHY NOT?!?!?!?”

Unthil’s desire to point out that is exactly how games work was overridden by his primal urge to see Realitus suffer and tried to point out another rule Empiroxus forgot to clarify. “You can cha-”
“OH, DON’T YOU START NOW, YOU SCRAWNY LITTLE HELPLESS, d-uh, …MORON! Yeah!”
“Paradoxus! That’s no way to treat your brother!”
“It’s exactly what he deserves is what it is!”
“I was going to say you can challenge-”
“Oh I’ll give you a challenge! How about the Unthil doing anything of value challenge?!? You’ve only been stuck on that one your whole LIFE!!”
“Okay.”
“Paradoxus!” Conceptilum and Matharin scolded in unison.
“You know I’m right! He sasses everyone every day and gets away with it, I get fed up at how he treats people and I’m the villain, am I?!”
“I think you’re all missing what makes this game fun…”
I think you’re all ignoring a certain someone who, yet again, has brought free entertainment for all to enjoy!”
“Did you know you can challenge ‘Plus Four’ cards??”

Of everyone, it was Abstractil who constructively got Paradoxus’s attention. He stopped yelling just long enough to hear what she had to say. “You’re only supposed to play that card if you have no other options.” Abstractil explained. “If Realitus has a green card, he’ll have to draw four instead.” Empiroxus looked confused, glanced at the rules, and nodded in Abstractil’s direction.

“…Oh.” Paradoxus finally calmed down. “I, uh, challenge his card.”

Everyone turned to Realitus, who held up his hand of 54 cards. “…Nope!” He answered.

Empiroxus stared at Realitus in literal disbelief. “…You don’t have a single green card… in your hand… of fifty-four cards?”

“Indeed, I do not!” Realitus boasted. “It remains your turn to draw, inferior brother!” A low-pitched siren went off behind Realitus as the “PLUS FOUR!” hologram shifted to him. “Oh what, you’ll believe a non-sentient game over myself?!?” Realitus complained as four cards flew into his hand. “This merely exemplifies how this sorry excuse for a Council treats its most essential member!”

“Right, well…” Empiroxus reasoned, “that certainly was eventful, but I hope now we can get back to a calm and relaxing card game.” Everyone returned to where they were previously floating, as Empiroxus mouthed ‘thanks’ to Abstractil. Paradoxus played a Red Zero and turned to Imaginatim, who immediately played a ‘Red-Yellow-Green-Blue Plus 42 Reverse Skip Wild Card’ covered in what looked like liquified Godsmoke particulates. The hologram shifted back to Paradoxus as the role order was reversed, now reading “PLUS FORTY-TWO!

“aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAURRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH-”

Paradoxus flipped the table, and the Uno game exploded. Yet another argument broke out as Empiroxus clasped his head in his hands. Somewhere out there, there surely must be a version of this Council capable of playing a single card game without incident.


Part 2: The Obedient Council[]

Location: Transcendentem-Td, not long after the Collapse.

Ten Supergods gathered around a flat logical surface floating in Beyond, all looking down without making eye contact, expressions vacant of strong emotion but all looking as though they were uncomfortably restraining themselves from showing any. The tallest at the table spoke first.

“We have gathered here to fulfil the reward promised to Empiroxus for his exceptional functionality under difficult circumstances during the Collapse.” The Council’s leader, Xenixel, declared. “As a compromise between his desire to waste the energy and resources of the Council, and my understanding of our need for constant progress and productivity, we have agreed to allow the playing of a card game among all adult Council members.” Xenixel waved his hand, and a pack of Uno cards appeared on the table.

“The rules can be read here.” Xenixel waved again and an oddly large Inscripverse apparated next to the game. “Let it be known Empiroxus wishes for enjoyment to be had during these proceedings.”

Conceptilum briefly glanced at the first page of the rules, and quickly sensed an opportunity. “You know, I think there’s someone who might really like this game!” Conceptilum said, looking to Xenixel encouragingly. Xenixel said nothing. Conceptilum slightly awkwardly broke his gaze and looked down, dejected.

Seven hands were produced from beneath the table and handed to the Supergods by the Council’s leader. Paradoxus glanced down at the cards, then quickly at the rules, perplexed. “Aren’t cards supposed to be dealt randomly from the deck?”

“Such ‘random’ actions incite anarchy and disorder.” Xenixel explained. “To preserve stability, your hands have been specially selected by the leader of the council to play the game most efficiently.” Paradoxus hardly understood this any better, but Matharin shushed him before he could ask any follow-up questions.


“The game shall now begin.” Xenixel ordered.

Paradoxus silently placed a card in the center of the circle. Logixel followed, then Realitus. Peralitus, sensing an opportunity, placed a ‘Plus Two’ card down and grinned at Matharin, behind whom a red hologram had just appeared. Matharin sneered back and placed a ‘Plus Two’ of her own on top of it, shifting the hologram to Xenixel. Xenixel glared furiously at Matharin and picked up her card. “This,” he commanded, “is an illegal move. Stacking is an illegitimate tradition that will not be indulged by my Supergod Council.”

Matharin shrunk down, taking back the card and adding two more to her hand. “R-right you are, leader.” Confused, Paradoxus grabbed the rules Inscripverse and scanned through it as Xenixel played, eventually clearly finding the line that stated Plus Twos can be stacked on top of one another. “That wasn’t illegal!” He said aloud, holding up the rulebook to prove it. Xenixel looked up and glared at Paradoxus with fury that could ignite a WildPhire. Literally, as the rule Paradoxus was pointing to burst into Phlames and vanished. “You must have misread something.” Xenixel responded.

Paradoxus irritably put the rulebook down. Well, I don’t think I did, but- Matharin hastily gestured for Paradoxus to be silent before he got himself in even more trouble.

Despite his clear displeasure, Empiroxus didn’t object as the game continued. Once it reached Abstractil’s turn, he whispered ‘blue’ to her, catching Xenixel’s attention. Abstractil indeed played a blue card, and Empiroxus in response placed a Blue Reverse. “I think you should have another turn.”

“No,” Abstractil smiled, placing a Red Reverse. “Go ahead, I insist.” Empiroxus chuckled and placed another Blue Reverse. “I think you’ll find, it’s your turn.”

“Is this productive in any way?” Xenixel questioned. Empiroxus and Abstractil immediately stopped. Empiroxus was going to speak up but thought better of it. Abstractil eventually spoke instead. “I, um, only had one Reverse card left anyway.” Abstractil played a Green Reverse, and the game resumed as normal, with Empiroxus playing a three to give the next turn to Unthil.


“Now,” Xenixel gestured for all other players to be silent and unmoving as he addressed Unthil. “Every card in the hands of every player, please.”

Unthil’s eyes flashed magenta as he scanned the room. Almost robotically, he accurately predicted the hands of every player at speeds almost too fast to follow, initially starting by listing them one-by-one, before quickly developing a notation for himself. “…B+2, G+2, R+2, Y+2, +4*2, W for Xenixel.” He finished, looking almost exhausted as he curled himself into a ball. Xenixel nodded. Conceptilum and Matharin began clapping politely, but Xenixel silenced them.

“In full detail, explain the moves you will make to win this game.” Xenixel demanded.

Matharin sighed in exasperation as Conceptilum became too irritated to keep quiet. “Oh, come on, this is hardly fair – it’s a game of random chance!” Conceptilum argued. “You can’t expect him to create a foolproof strategy when whoever wins is basically decided by the luck of the draw!”

“Being a functional Council member requires preparation for situations with little control!” Xenixel insisted. “If Unthil should wish to make up for the failure and incompetence of every other member of this Council, he must be able to make the best of any situation, no matter how the odds are stacked against him! Now you will be silent as he gives his answer!!”

Conceptilum reluctantly backed down and placed his arm on Unthil’s shoulder as the child prodigy physically curled his limbs closer to himself, as if retreating into his own mind.

After a moment of contemplation, Unthil spoke, in constant monotone.

“Victory is achievable in only three full rotations around the table as the rules allow for placing two identical cards down in one turn as Empiroxus failed to do previously. My greatest advantage will come from manipulating through social cues the actions of other players to ensure they play the existing cards in their hands most beneficial to me, while minimizing the number of turns in which nobody can play, thus requiring players to draw, and introducing unknowable variables into the result.”

As Unthil continued speaking, his monologue became faster and faster until nobody but Matharin and Xenixel could comprehend it. His limbs, clasped around his head, began physically shaking, but his voice faltered slightly only once.

“…Ultimately guaranteeing my victory in five traditional moves and seven jump-ins, with only one opportunity for a card drawn after this moment to be played.”

Unthil relaxed his body as he finished speaking, still looking down and showing no emotion. Xenixel’s voice remained equally emotionless. “Very good.” Xenixel said. “However, you failed to account for the possibility that, should Logixel draw a Blue ‘Plus Two’ on his next turn, he may subtly convey this to Paradoxus, who will in turn then be encouraged to play his ‘Blue Reverse’ a turn early, as Realitus would at this moment have the fewest cards of any player.”

Unthil’s head sunk in shame as he realized this. “My apologies, leader.” He said.

“I expect better of you next time.” Xenixel added.


Part 3: The Popular People’s Council[]

Location: Transcendentem-Tg, after the Collapse.

Five jagged tombstones floated ominously in the middle of Beyond, each adorned with the necklaces of the deceased Supergod Council and graffitied with various rude phrases painted in violet. In the center of the circle, a tall purple figure summoned a flat logical surface into existence as he addressed three evidently invisible individuals. “Why, I’m very glad you asked!” The Council’s leader, Venrensorys, began to explain. “We are engaging in a ‘game night’ to celebrate our TRIUMPHANT VICTORY over the VILE and REPULSIVE Supergod Council, by engaging in the very acts they most despised: COMPETITION and SELFISH SABOTAGE!!!” Venrensorys slammed the Uno deck onto the table so hard it shattered on contact, and he had to make a new one.

Venrensorys explained the rules to the invisible players as it dealt four hands and took one for itself. As soon as the game began, he immediately slammed a Blue ‘Plus Two’ on the table and screamed loudly at the second player. “HA!!!! TAKE THAT!!!” Venrensorys immediately leapt up and donned a large, bushy wig before picking up the second hand.

“𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗗𝗔𝗥𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗣𝗟𝗔𝗖𝗘 𝗦𝗨𝗖𝗛 𝗔 𝗙𝗢𝗨𝗟 𝗖𝗔𝗥𝗗 𝗜𝗡 𝗠𝗬 𝗣𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗘𝗡𝗖𝗘❓❗❓❗❓ 𝗦𝗨𝗖𝗛 𝗔 𝗧𝗔𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗟𝗘𝗦𝗦 𝗠𝗢𝗩𝗘 𝗦𝗛𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗕𝗘 𝗥𝗘𝗧𝗨𝗥𝗡𝗘𝗗 𝗜𝗡 𝗞𝗜𝗡𝗗❗” ‘Player 2’ threw down a ‘Plus Four’ atop the Plus Two, and pointed triumphantly at the void where a third player wasn’t. “𝗧𝗔𝗞𝗘 𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗧, 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗙𝗢𝗢𝗟❗❗❗” Venrensorys threw the wig behind them and leapt into position as ‘Player 3’, grabbing a top hat and monocle from thin void. “𝑂ℎ, 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑣𝑒𝑛𝑠, ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑛𝑜 𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑠?! 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑎 𝑃𝑙𝑢𝑠 𝐹𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑎𝑡𝑜𝑝 𝑎 𝑃𝑙𝑢𝑠 𝑇𝑤𝑜! 𝑊ℎ𝑦, 𝑖𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑖𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑦 𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑙𝑒𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑙𝑦!”

Venrensorys began rapidly dashing back and forth, in and out of costumes, to keep up with the argument. “𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗞𝗜𝗡𝗗 𝗢𝗙 ‘𝗨𝗡𝗢 𝗘𝗫𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗧’ 𝗗𝗢 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗖𝗟𝗔𝗜𝗠 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥𝗦𝗘𝗟𝗙 𝗧𝗢 𝗕𝗘 𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗖𝗢𝗨𝗟𝗗 𝗣𝗢𝗦𝗦𝗜𝗕𝗟𝗬 𝗝𝗨𝗦𝗧𝗜𝗙𝗬 𝗦𝗨𝗖𝗛 𝗔𝗡 𝗢𝗨𝗧𝗟𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗛 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗥𝗘𝗖𝗞𝗟𝗘𝗦𝗦 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗧𝗘𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗧, 𝗛𝗠𝗠𝗠❓❓❓❓❗❓” Venrensorys scolded. “𝑂ℎ, 𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒! 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑𝑛’𝑡 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑝𝑒𝑟, 𝑑𝑖𝑔𝑛𝑖𝑓𝑖𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑒𝑟 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑔𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑖𝑓 𝑖𝑡 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑢𝑐𝑘 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑣𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑢𝑛𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑣𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑑!” Venrensorys retorted. “𝗪𝗘𝗟𝗟, 𝗜 𝗪𝗢𝗨𝗟𝗗𝗡’𝗧 𝗪𝗔𝗡𝗧 𝗧𝗢 𝗙𝗢𝗟𝗟𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗞𝗜𝗡𝗗 𝗢𝗙 𝗨𝗣𝗣𝗜𝗧𝗬 𝗛𝗢𝗨𝗦𝗘 𝗥𝗨𝗟𝗘𝗦 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗪𝗢𝗨𝗟𝗗 𝗣𝗟𝗔𝗬 𝗕𝗬❗❗” Venrensorys spat. “𝗟𝗘𝗧’𝗦 𝗦𝗘𝗘 𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗦𝗢𝗥𝗬𝗦 𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗞𝗦 𝗢𝗙 𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗦❗❗❗”

Venrensorys rolled across the table and landed on a half-eaten Ultraverse that would have to do for a hat in a rush. “Erm, uh, the rulebook doesn’t say you can’t stack Plus Fours on Plus Twos, I suppose.”

“𝑂𝑈𝑇𝑅𝐴𝐺𝐼𝑂𝑈𝑆!!!” Venrensorys proclaimed, as Venrensorys laughed maniacally. “𝗧𝗜𝗠𝗘 𝗧𝗢 𝗗𝗥𝗔𝗪 𝗦𝗜𝗫 𝗖𝗔𝗥𝗗𝗦, 𝗙𝗢𝗢𝗟❗❗❗” Venrensorys slumped into defeat, moments after sprinting into the correct costume. “𝐼𝑡 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑚 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑛𝑜 𝑐ℎ𝑜𝑖𝑐𝑒… 𝑖𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼 𝑊𝑂𝑈𝐿𝐷 𝑆𝐴𝑌, 𝐼𝐹 𝑊𝐸 𝑊𝐸𝑅𝐸𝑁’𝑇 𝑃𝐿𝐴𝑌𝐼𝑁𝐺 𝑇𝐻𝐸 𝑆𝑃𝐸𝐶𝐼𝐴𝐿 𝐸𝐷𝐼𝑇𝐼𝑂𝑁!!!!!” Venrensorys triumphantly threw down, with enough force to shatter a robot, a card that read “some kind of ‘deflect’ card”. “𝐷𝑅𝐴𝑊 𝑇𝑊𝐸𝐿𝑉𝐸, 𝑌𝑂𝑈 𝑀𝐼𝑆𝐸𝑅𝐴𝐵𝐿𝐸 𝐶𝑂𝑁𝑇𝐸𝑀𝑃𝑈𝑂𝑈𝑆 𝐵𝑈𝐹𝐹𝑂𝑂𝑁!!!”

𝗡𝗢𝗢𝗢𝗢𝗢𝗢𝗢𝗢𝗢𝗢𝗢❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗” Venrensorys screamed, as Venrensorys laughed. Twelve cards flew into Venrensorys’s hand. “𝗜 𝗦𝗛𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗛𝗔𝗩𝗘 𝗠𝗬 𝗥𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗚𝗘 𝗢𝗡 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗢𝗡𝗘 𝗗𝗔𝗬, 𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗦𝗢𝗥𝗬𝗦❗❗❗”

As the chaos subsided, Venrensorys donned their half-eaten Ultraverse and played a Red Seven. All the while, Venrensorys was chuckling to themselves in the corner, excited to reveal their secret plan once its turn came…

“Well, FOOLS, this game has been fun… but I’m afraid while you were all bickering, I HAVE ALREADY WON!!!!”

“WHAT?!?!?”

“Just as there’s no rule against stacking mismatching cards, the rules neither explicitly disallow EATING the cards!! While you were all arguing, I’ve been whittling down my hand card by card!!” Venrensorys boasted, holding up their hand of just one card.

𝑁𝑂𝑂𝑂𝑂𝑂𝑂𝑂𝑂𝑂𝑂𝑂!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
𝗡𝗢𝗢𝗢𝗢𝗢𝗢𝗢𝗢𝗢𝗢𝗢❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗
“No.”

“AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!” Venrensorys lauded his victory over Venrensorys, Venrensorys, and Venrensorys as he threw down his one remaining red card. “I HAVE PREVAILED, VANQUISHING ALL OPPONENTS WHO STAND IN MY PATH! NONE CAN POSSIBLY CHALLENGE THE MIGHT OF VENRENSORYS!!!!” Venrensorys continued laughing to themselves in the empty Beyond Bubble.

“AHAHAHA! AHA! Ahaha! Haaa…

“…Yeah.”


Part 4: The Somewhat Strange Council[]

Location: Transcendentem-Te, not long after the Calypso.

“What’s the point of doing ‘game nights’ anyway?” Matharin questioned, trying to ignore the rapidly multiplying Cheeselings popping into existence around them. “I don’t think we even have regular nights.”

“Not YET we don’t” Peralitus boldly declared, holding up his Regular-Night-Generator-Inator. “But the possibilities of SCIENCE are LIMITLESS!”

“I just thought it would be a nice distraction from the Cheesepocalypse, to have some fun and help us relax from metatime to metatime.” The Council’s leader, Xenixel, explained. “But if you don’t want to play, you don’t have t-”

“Okay then.” Matharin quickly said and began swiftly floating away, before being stopped dead by a much larger Supergod pointing an Alephant prod at her. “Oh, you don’t want to play, do you?” Abstractil fiendishly fiended. “Are you saying it would make you miserable to play??” She shrieked with delight.

“Abstractil, what did we say about threatening people to maximize misery?” Xenixel softly scolded.

“That I’m going to do it whether you like it or not because you can’t stop me old man?” Abstractil retorted.

“…Yeah, I suppose that was said.” Xenixel figured.

“Hey Empiroxus! Are you going to play Uno with us?” Xenixel called to the Supergod hunched over and aggressively grabbing at a group of tiny specks on the side of a Trosinicosm.

“I’m organizing the bugz.” Empiroxus stated. “The bugz are in the wrong place.” Empiroxus noticed a Godcel slowly crawling away from where he found it incidentally resting. He swiftly snatched it and placed it back in its ‘correct’ place. Being a bug, it immediately wandered away again. Empiroxus’s expression tore itself into one of vile disgust. “You will be punished in the next life for this.”

“Well, I suppose that’s everyone! If nobody else will be joining us, we might as well start-”

“THINKOFTHESETHOUGHTASLIMITLESSLIGHTEXPOSINGCLOSINGCIRCUITRYOFFRIGHT-” The red Supergod rapidly teleporting around the local area suddenly seemed to electrocute themselves and spontaneously combust, before instantly reforming unharmed, sitting cross-tailed in front of the others, now speaking near-incomprehensibly fast. “hellomynameisdodikeandiwouldLOVEtoplayunomicronwithyouallsmileyface:)”

“…Uhhhh…” Xenixel said, slightly frightened of their new friend. “…Welcome to the game, Dodike!”

“Yet youlostIT!” She proclaimed.

“Meh.” Said Imaginatim.

“Can we just get this over with?” Asked Matharin, as Abstractil noticed an opportunity to maximize misery elsewhere and wandered off.


Xenixel went first, playing a Puce Ten. Empiroxus then played a Tangerine Eighty Two, and Matharin followed with a Capri Aubergine. Empiroxus immediately pulled out a lighter and burnt the card. “You cannot play that card. That card is illegal. Prepare to be arrested.” Matharin thought for a moment and realized her mistake. “Oh, right, yeah.” To correct herself, she played a Mazarine Eggplant. Empiroxus put the toboggan and lobster net down, telling her “You are safe for now.” Imaginatim played a Yellow Six.

Next up to play was Dodike, who was slightly busy teleporting around the area inanely screaming about heterochromatic octopi and hadn’t yet looked at her cards. After the necessary amount of time had passed, which was none as Supergods are beyond time, Empiroxus declared Dodike to have missed her turn. “She must draw two cardz. That’s the rulez.” He insisted.

“Maybe, uh,” Xenixel glanced at Dodike leaping from everything to everywhere.

“StevstevestevestiebLOSERsteveSUCCESSOORFAILTHECHOICEISUPTOYOU-”

“Maybe we should just move on to Peralitus.”

Empiroxus angrily grabbed Dodike from the ether and held up a lighter. “You will draw two cardz now.”

Dodike nodded excitedly and ate half the deck, before immediately vomiting out a vibrant rainbow of caffeinated sprinkles and a pot of gold. “We have somuch lefto sing.” She added.

And at last, Peralitus would have his turn. “Muauahahaha… for my turn, I choose to play… MY LATEST INVENTION! BEHOLD!!! Peralitus yelled, holding up a large and overly complicated contraption he had just created. “THE MAKE-A-GOOD-POT-OF-TERDYKKEN-SOUP-FOR-ONCE INATOR!!!”

“Okay, that must be against the rules!” Matharin said. Empiroxus readied his lighter. Xenixel flipped through the rules Inscripverse but found nothing. “…I can’t find anything in the rules against playing your own inventions.” Xenixel conceded. Empiroxus set himself on Phire in protest.

Magnificent! Peralitus chuckled. “Let’s see what kind of card you play to counter THAT!”

“Well, um… okay, I play, uh, this card.” Xenixel played the ‘Counter the Terdykken Soup Inator’ card that had been in the deck since Uno’s inception. The inator exploded.

“FOILED AGAIN!!!” Peralitus screamed into the void. Matharin had always wondered what that card was for.

Halfway through burning to death, Empiroxus tossed a card labelled ‘Summoning Spell’ onto the table. A golden tornado of violent energy, surrounded by jets of electricity emerged from the card, increasing in strength and then dispersing as it summoned a mighty hero in front of them, hovering above the deck. Voidsyll pointed a commanding photorealistic finger at Dodike, meeting her gaze with a soul-piercing stare. “Do you believe in cheese?”

Tiflorex (TFX), formerly known as flutiorex, is a stimulant amphetamine that was under development as an appetite suppressant in the 1970s[1][2], but appears to have been abandoned. It is structurally related to fenfluramine and 4-MTA.”

Seeming pleased, Voidsyll grabbed Dodike and pointed her magic wand high into the directionless void, summoning a typhoon of energy around them. “Come, my friend. We have many pools to clean.” Dodike declared [citation needed] as the two vanished in a flash of light.

“Meh.” Said Imaginatim.


…Briefly forgetting the game was still going, Matharin almost missed her turn and threw in a random card at the last moment. As soon as it touched the pile, Matharin’s card summoned a paddle of Platyverses to the table, one of them immediately licking the Phire off Empiroxus. Displeased with his protest being interrupted, Empiroxus declared this Platyverse his mortal enemy.

Overjoyed with these adorable creatures, Peralitus immediately picked up and hugged the friendliest of the Platyverses. “He’s the most beautiful being I’ve ever seen!! I shall name him Peri, after my own self! Welcome to the family, Peri!”
Peri celebrated their adoption by eating Peralitus’s ‘Plus Four’ card and running away.
“CURSE YOU, PERI THE PLATYVEEEEEEERRRRRRRRSSEE!!!!!!!!!”

Not that Xenixel minded having some new friendly faces around or anything, but he was slightly worried about the number of Platyverses that were climbing inside the forcefield generator. This worry was significantly worsened when one of them chewed through enough essential wiring to disable the main shield, unleashing a swarm of two-headed Gloucesterians. Terrified by the sudden attack, Xenixel blew the Cheese Vuvuzela. “ALL HANDS ON DECK, IF YOU FEEL LIKE IT!” He triumphantly yelled as he, Empiroxus, and Peralitus charged into battle. Imaginatim seemed indifferent to the whole thing.

Matharin initially stayed put, keeping her promise to herself never to engage with this ‘Cheesepocalypse’ nonsense for her own sake, before her day was ruined for her by a familiar voice.

“MOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!” Suuexa yelled from afar. “Abstractil is filling the Light-Hearted Fun-Pool with dead bodies again!”

Matharin groaned, begrudgingly grabbing the Dead Body Removal StickTM. Coming!

Far away from the Uno game, Logixel overheard Matharin’s irritation while working on a construction project with his brother. It’s a shame there’s no better way to remove dead bodies from a Light-Hearted Fun-Pool than fishing them out with a stick and throwing them to the Kargods. Think about all the Real Death that’s going to waste! Someone should really invent some kind of Light-Hearted Fun converter so that all those dead bodies can be turned into something more useful…

A literal lightbulb turned on above Logixel. “Hey, Paradoxus! I know what we’re gonna do today!”


Part 5: The Emergency Council[]

Location: Transcendentem-Tc, not long after the Collapse.

“Um, hey, um, Kalyutim… I-is there any chance that, it-it doesn’t have to be now but later maybe, o-or whenever works best, you maybe wanted to play a game of-”

“I’m busy.”


“O-oh, right, y-yeah, of course. I’m- …really sorry, for asking…”


“Thanks.”


Part 6: The Perfect Council[]

Location: Transcendentem-Tx, long after the Collapse.

Remains of disused devices and abandoned structures litter a cold and empty Beyond Bubble. Small Ecosystem creatures, taking shelter from the dangers outside, scamper from overgrown Monocosm to overgrown Monocosm. A small portal appears, only for a moment, as a pale red Supergod emerges from it. Logixel floats through what’s left of his home. His face is difficult to read. He passes a colossal tower, anchored to five artificial Monocosms. Even in a realm beyond physical space, it was so imposing it felt like it loomed over all surroundings, its sturdy base giving way near the top to two thin needles that seemingly extend forever. But Logixel floats right past it. He has somewhere else to be.

He arrives at his destination; a seemingly random corner of the Bubble containing nothing in particular. On his command, four strange shadowy beings appear around Logixel. Though shaped like Supergods, they are so thin light passes right through them, as though they were nothing more than ghosts… or echoes. Logixel holds out an object he’d been carrying with him: a small sphere, seemingly made of thick, billowing black smoke. He clenches the sphere in his right hand and a deep blue light shines out of it like a projector, illuminating the shadowy beings. Suddenly, four Supergods become superimposed atop the shadows. The holograms aren’t perfect; the images of the Supergods are flickery, and grainy. The colors are somewhat desaturated, and their speech is slightly garbled and unclear. Nevertheless, as if on command, the shadows adopt the actions and mannerisms of the Supergods projected onto them.


Why exactly are we having ‘game nights’ now?
We don’t even have regular nights!

Logixel watches the memory unfold in front of him, slowly beginning to smile as it continues.


I just thought it’d be helpful to take our minds off things while we wait⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
for the others to come back. Uno is all kinds of fun. You’ll really like it!
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Oh right, yeah, they’re totally coming back, any “night” now.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Kal, we talked about this. But Logixel’s right!
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀It’d be nice to have some things to do together every so often.


And Uno’s a mortal classic! You can never be winning or losing by a “safe” amount.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
At any moment, anything can happen!
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

If anything’s able to happen, maybe I’ll finally
achieve my lifelong dream of throwing Imaginatim off a building.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀You wish you had half the nerve to do that.


Logixel lets out a short laugh. He starts softly laughing even more as the memory plays.


Ohoho! Do I sense a competition of sorts forming?
Perhaps you all have forgotten whose destiny it is to prevail against all challengers?

In our defence, it’s pretty easy to forget you exist.

That kind of snark will bring you little solace
when I thrash you in this fine sport!
Well, if you want to thrash us that hard, you’ll want to⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
get familiar with the rules. They’re pretty simple really, you draw seve-⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
The Lord Realitus needs no rules to prevail!
Victory is in my nature!

Oh wow, look at how much fun we’re having already.


Logixel keeps laughing, tears welling up as he does. His laughs begin to sound pained.


⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Cheer up, Kal! This looks like exactly your type of game!
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀There doesn’t seem to be any skill or strategy involved, and the only things
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀you can do to the other players are hurt them and make them shout at you!


Now, now, let’s be civil. This doesn’t have to be an aggressive game!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If we play with teams, we can play as friends! We’ll only be fighting the people sitting next to us-⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Can I sit next to Realitus?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Can I sit next to Kalyutim?


…Oh boy…


Logixel breaks into a sob, yet keeps laughing through his tears.


Well, if we’re picking sides already, I might as well go with Realitus.
Gotta respect the best half of the colour wheel.

Wait, does that mean I’m on a team with you?

YES! My trusty green sidekick and I will embarrass
those who dare dabble in shades of magenta!

Don’t say that like you’re disappointed!
I’m the one who knows the game, after all. We’ll make a great team!

“Sidekick”?! Come on, we both know I’ll be carrying the team.

Not that you aren’t the smartest one here, but it hardly feels natural.
I’m still not sure what a ‘Plus Four’ is but I can hardly picture you being cruel enough to play one.


Logixel’s tears finally dry up, as he is left staring with fondness and regret at the pale imitations of his family.


Nahh, we’ll do great together. We just have to trust that we both want what’s best for each other.


The holograms cut out early, and the shadowy figures fly away before the last line is said.


Everything will be alright.